Okay, now I'm going to do what many people think is impossible--I'm going to defend sex as a representation of love and union, as well as sexual abstinence prior to marriage, without ever using the words "Jesus", "in the Bible it says..." or anything else of that nature. While I do believe those points to be more than valid, I do realize that an argument of that nature would be an immediate turn off to non-Christians, many who feel that there is no argument for my case outside of the rambling off of traditional Christian doctrine. Though my argument is religious at its foundation, it more leans towards our general spiritual natures rather than a specific religious doctrine.
Now, to the point--almost every living creature we can think of has sex. Why? It's very simple--they have to to survive. Because of this, each species has a hormonic drive to engage in sexual activity, otherwise the species would have disappeared a long time ago. As was stated in the post I'm responding to, humans also have this drive--this primal, animalistic drive to engage in sexual contact with a partner. The big difference though? For humans, it's fully and completely a choice. Animals have sex because of instinct--through evolution, they've become programmed to do it, otherwise they would not survive. Humans experience this very same desire but with one key, unignorable difference--the ability to choose to do it. Sex is not just something we do--it's something we choose to do, and that makes a world of difference.
See, I think there's three sides to every human being that are always in constant conflict. We can't deny the fact that we're animals who physically are of this Earth, and because of that we inheret characteristics of things of this world, such as sexual drive. But there's also another side to us that's unlike anything else in the known universe--the ability to rationally think and to make decisions and accept responsibility for them. Almost every one will agree with these two sides. But I would add on a third side--our spiritual side--the part of ourselves that is part of the larger scheme of things, which includes our conscience and our ability to make moral decisions. Either way, we have at least one side to us that is in no way related to this system of "instincts" on which the rest of the world revolves--and there's nothing else like it in this world. Our different natures are always in constant conflict--what one side of us thinks is good may not get another nature's approval. For instance, if we're in a supermarket and we're really hungry but have no money, our animalistic side will tell us to just grab food and eat it to satisfy our bodily need, but our rational and spiritual sides will tell us that it's wrong to steal something that belongs to someone else. Vice-versa, if we're giving up our time to, for instance, do grueling charitable work (like doing yard work for someone unable to do it outside in the hot sun), it will be satisfying to our conscious-driven side (knowing that we're helping another person), but our animalistic side will be telling us to get the hell out of there and go relax somewhere. So when it comes to sex, it cannot be argued that it is satisfying simply because it satisfies the desires of the body, because you're missing huge portions of what makes us human that could be going without satisfaction. Just because it's satisfying basic, bodily desires doesn't necessarily make it a good thing.
Now to sex in relation to marriage. I believe that marriage is important because it's the strongest commitment two people can make to one another. Marriage (like I discussed in a previous blog post), isn't just about living together and having a family, it's a total union between two people. A man and a woman are two parts of a whole, and marriage and sex are what ties them together. Never is this more evident than in their physical sexual organs, which are perfectly compatible with one another. In marriage, two people totally commit their lives to each other, and in the process, spiritually become one. Sex is the physical representation of the commitment made during marriage--two parts are literally coming together as one and creating wonders in the process. And a child created through marital sex is the physical embodiment of that union--at that point it's not even just two parts coming together, it literally is both parts as one. How can this unity be anything less than the greatest possible human representation of love for each other? Not only is the body fully physically pleased because of the physical touch and unity, but so is the spiritual nature because of the impossible to describe strength of the total spiritual unity between yourself and your spouse. Love is all about connecting and bonding with one another, and marriage and sex go hand-in-hand in creating the strongest sort of love possible--the lifetime commitment of love and unity between two people and the physical and spiritual embodiment of it. How can a union of this magnitude be described as anything less than love in it's purest form?
And it's not just the sex that's the full display of love for your spouse, it's also the sexual abstinence beforehand. What shows love for someone more than sacrificing something for them? In the case of abstinence, you're sacrificing your bodily desires in order to give the most important person in your entire a life a gift that's so special it can be given only once. How is this anything but love? So many people perceive virginity as something just for the taking, but what people don't realize is that it's an incredibly precious gift to be given. I think that people need to realize that it needs to be kept safe before it can be given as the greatest gift one could possibly give to another human being--the gift of oneself, totally and completely, in it's original, unblemished state.
So while yes, I will agree that sex is at least partially about animalistic desires, I believe it can be so much more than that if people understand what an amazing act it really is. It really is in the human-only choice of when and with whom to have sex that shows just how much love is involved. Sex can be about just bodily satisfaction, but it can also be about that and so much more--the physical embodiment of the total unity, love, and commitment between two people, total satisfaction for mind, body, and spirit, and the greatest gift one could give to another. I think I'll choose the latter, as I really believe that this is the type of satisfaction that could only be made in heaven.
